The Monogatari Series Rabbithole: Bakemonogatari
The Monogatari Series Rabbithole: Bakemonogatari
Yeah I see why this is a nonce series now.
I wouldve written this as just a note but now its gotten too long, so i guess I'll be reviewing the monogatari series in an official-post-by-post basis now. Either I tank my niche nationalist viewership or I'm going to create a new and separate viewer base of anime fans. Remains to be seen.
It warrants repeating this disclaimer: Don’t associate anime with your politics, they do not mix. This is a hobby. One I’ve avoided for a long time because of associated stigma and cringe, it makes you look stupid and unserious. But I guess I’m doing a deep dive now, getting invested in a series like this. I believe my character should remain unadulterated though. I generally advise caution with your media diet.
Before getting into the nitty gritty I should probably introduce you to the show's cast, otherwise you'll keep being confused while I namedrop literal who's while talking about the show.
Araragi is the vessel through which the show is viewed. He is the protagonist, the main-main character, simultaneously a retard who could not tell a woman likes him even as she flirts with him and compromises herself, and an inconsolable pervert who cannot keep away from young women and little girls. He's the guy with a cowlick and emo hair, and after the events of kizumonogatari has lost most of his vampire powers besides being a magnet for supernatural events.
Senjyougahara is the stapler girl, a tsundere, or so she is described. She's a very sickly girl… Not that she is ever portrayed as actively ill, but they say she is, OK? TBH I don't like her or dislike her, all her dialogue is of a very dry delivery, she likes throwing insults and playing mind games. She clearly struggles to express herself in any romantic or tender way. And it isn't cute when she does with like blushing and stuff you expect from a more typical anime girl, she just pauses and starts the sentence from scratch, while staring awkwardly. she has a very deadpan face. She struggles with the Crab apparition, and gets the spotlight in the first arc in the series. The crab arc has an alright intro. She also gets a one off episode close to the end of the season you’ll know it by it playing the same intro as was used in her arc.
Hanekawa is another character who was in Kizumonogatari1 she stopped being a love interest between then and this series though. She still likes him because of their shared interest and experience from then, but nothing comes of it. Her situation is saddening to me, as she is a much nicer, warmer character. She is featured most prominently in the cat arc, though her presence extends to all others. The cat arc gets 2 intros. The use of live action for one of her intros shattered my immersion and was ugly, therefore it is my least favorite. Her line is “I don't know everything, I only know what I know.
Kanbaru is a Tomboy, Fujoshi, and Yuri. She's a sports girl and a Dyke. Extremely perverted, enough to put the protagonist Araragi to shame. With this grab-bag of unsympathetic traits she also happens to have the least sympathetic motivations as a character. I can’t say, but hers is easily my least favorite arc in the season. Even if she acts reasonably fun/decent in other episodes, she disgusts me. I don't remember her arc’s intro. She monke.
I always thought twintails were kind of ugly but hachikuji is such a charming character she makes them work. Actually the cutest and funniest character in the season, a half-illiterate lost girl with snail trouble. The intro to her arc is a contender for the best intro in this show, very catchy, very silly, very fun. Her line is: “I flubbed it.” She manages to turn the perverted advances of araragi from gross to funny by reacting to and fighting him over it, which escalates to a fairly comical child vs teenager brawl. Without fail it is the best fight in the season. What a goober.
She has brown hair in the show but this is probably her most widely recognized form. Yes she is the girl from the meme OP that has been circulating the internet since this show came out in 2009. For once doing the intro first, it is indisputably the most iconic and catchy. It is also just a great listen. She's the one with the snake problem. She’s innocent of any particular crime and doesn’t get creeped on, but does have some unfortunate things happen to her.
Shinobu is almost a non-character in this season. Shinobu is all that was left after the events of Kizumonogatari. Kiss-shot Acerola-Orion Heart-Under-Blade2, the huge vampire woman was defeated and lost her body, (memory?) identity, and all her powers. Except her combat and acrobatic abilities, shadow-teleport, life drain, and the long ass sword she keeps sheathed inside her body. Meme Oshino adopts her and gives her a new name, taking care of her for the duration of the season. She sits around quietly moping like this in the background of Meme’s base of operations in the abandoned school until the last 3-4 episodes. She is dependent on Araragi's blood to stay alive. Her favorite food is donuts. She became sad like this when Meme ate the last one instead of giving it to her.
These two exist only to torment araragi when he isn’t waking up on time (typically because he stayed up late helping someone with x or y problem) Non-characters again. They are gonna be more prominently featured in the next season… Niseimonogatari.
Oshino is the suave cool anime dude with a long face. He's Araragi's mentor and also the guy who saved his life in Kizumonogatari. They go to him for help every other episode, consulting him on how to best deal with their spiritual situations. He leaves at the end of the season. I like him. His line is “did something nice happen to you?”
Barely made it to the character list award. We don’t get his first name I don’t think. Another non-character. Only appears in one episode and has like 20 seconds of dialogue at all. Hitagi Senjyougahara’s father. He bears a certain resemblance… it’s qute familiar.
CHUDJAK!?
There is not a single girl in this show that isn’t cute, as the pictures show.
Bakemonogatari is pretty perverted. Kizumonogatari (the one that takes place before this) was only exempted from the nonce-sense because it’s mostly adult women. There's one episode (in the snake arc) where it gets especially explicit, (that validates the CP accusation angle) but creeping on every girl that is met in this show is in its DNA. Most of the ones that get creeped on are high-school aged girls (there are 3) but there are 2 main characters that are little girls that get their own arcs, and then 3 more little girls who don't get weird shit lumped onto them (yet) as supporting characters (Shinobu and the Araragi sisters). Very ecchi series. Should go without saying if you can't tolerate this kind of stuff, it'll be unwatchable. But the ecchi, as I stated previously (in a comment, don’t go looking for it within this post) is only 1/4th of this series. Not all of it nonceworthy or entirely terrible, but it’s unavoidable. So what makes up the rest?
The other half of this shows jokes that aren't sex related are puns and wordplay. Every character in this show has a little idiosyncratic bit that they repeat every now and then, it's charming, and sometimes the wordplay actually lands and is quite funny. There's a touch of slapstick as well. I will resist temptation to spoil but you probably know what I mean if you have watched.
There are also some jokes that are just references to other anime or Japanese pop culture, not exactly family guy cutaway gag tier but they stop the show for like 30 seconds and dedicate it to one of those reference jokes. They're fairly rare, but like 3 happen in rapid succession one episode. Worth mentioning.
But now that we’re past the child porn and the comedic elements, what are we left with in this show? There’s still about 50% of its content remaining. Well, this is actually a series with a plot, and it follows the supernatual problems and character developments of all these women in the life of our main character, Araragi. I suppose it plays into just helping people because they’re attractive women. But he demonstrates a genuine sense of concern for others and helping them that is laudable, and mildly heroic, for all his faults. Each episode goes from one girl with some supernatural problem to the next, and at times its fairly thoughtful.
A girl who wants nothing more but to go home juxtaposed against a teenager who doesn’t want to see his family because of some temporary drama. The lie one tells themselves, of assumed innocence and goodness, explaining away and denying responsibility for something bad you’ve done. Learning to accept attachment and love of other people after becoming cold, and distant after a betrayal earlier in life put you on the defense. There are fairly solid themes and ideas explored in this show, besides the parts that are silly and borderline pornographic (it never does really cross that threshhold, though it gets freaky). You do get interested in seeing how an episode plays out, or how a conflict gets resolved, this is more than just “The show that’s for pedophiles.” Though that being said, I now know how it got that infamous reputation. There are a few particularly uncomfortable sequences (not moments, entire bits), like 3-4 of them. I won’t talk about them in detail though.
The last thing this show has besides its episode-to-episode happenings is the atmosphere. Art direction, Cinematography, Music, presentation. If it was just this stuff and none of the sex appeal, or even the decent writing, you’d still get something very visually interesting out of this show.
The music is also a highlight, expect the intro to change every 2~3 episodes. There are nice tracks. There’s a particularly iconic background track they play now and again, it’s become very iconic for the series. You’ll know it when you hear it.
Lastly there is the direction. This show is edited a very particular way, it’s become another one of this series unique quirks, it evades description. You really do have to see it to get what I mean. It’s a very unique style, one of a kind. Like with a lot of other arts this is just one of the things most don’t pick up on or notice, but the choices are certainly on the artsy side and it will strike first time viewers how this show goes about what it does. “Like if [famous director] directed child porn” as someone told me. Again, it isn’t porn though. it weawwy isn’t. Anyway as far as what I’ve seen this lewd and borderline type of genre seems to always attract better animators than porn itself. Curious. Really though Porn, animated or not is just a shitty viewing experience honestly. Stop watching it.
RIP hanekawa for getting cucked. IDRK how else to end it, those are my thoughts on the series.
Good night.
Tsubasa Hanekawa in Kizumonogatari
she was cuter and more generally attractive in Kizu. TBF it did have a higher animation budget. She has a very sheepish soft look about her that I find adorable. Have I started to like girls with big dumb glasses? I already know I like smart girls, they’re more capable of carrying a conversation, we have an overlap of interests and I like a good talk. Though, I like glasses less IRL than when I see them aestheticized in 2d. IRL they do just make people look goofier/uglier.
Kiss-Shot Acerola-Orion Heart-Under-Blade (who shinobu used to be) In Kizumonogatari
Long ass name, I know. There’s no way there isn’t some wordplay involved. In her full form she is such a bad bitch though. This is just a title card though, in the animation itself she has even bigger tits. Crazy. Apparently when vampires dont have enough resources/power to regenerate their full bodies they just shrink to a more resource efficient child-sized form, which is basically the plot of these movies. Maybe when I get around to the point Kizu came out I’ll go and watch it again to give a full review like this, IDK.
Monogyattari
i know what you are trying to do. it won't work.. I WILL NEVER QATXH MONOGATERI!! no matter how many times you people try i refuse